Listen to your intuition

Life, it can be a bitch sometimes and people can be twat-waffles. I suffer from insomnia anyway but I've been doing pretty good lately. However, I don't think I will be getting much sleep tonight... Each minute/hour that passes and it gets closer to court in the morning. Obviously, this isn't gonna be a happy blog full of rainbows shooting out my arse, but tune back tomorrow!
Anyway, if you're reading this than you more then likely know, or have at least heard about, the guy who stole my Daddy's guitar. May I mention my father passed away November 28, 2009 after his 6th major heart attack. I inherited my father's kick ass 1982 Adamas Ovation Ultra Series, nice ass guitar. I was dating a guy for a couple months back in the Spring. I had gone to school and church with him growing up. I even actually had a crush on him at one point as a teenager (apparently I've ALWAYS had a magnet for douchebags). Things were going great, he helped take care of me after my surgery. He even drove me and picked me up from the airport when I flew to Texas for court over my dads estate. This douche ends up stealing my father's guitar, pawning it, and flying to Georgia saying he was seeking treatment and going to be staying with family because he had prostate cancer. I was pretty much devastated. I was worried about him but he assured me he would keep in touch. He left and I didn't hear from him for a day or two and his mom texts saying "What's going on with your guitar?" I say "What do you mean? ______ said he was getting it fixed for me." Then she said "Well the case is here but there is no guitar." I knew something was wrong then. Seeing as how he didn't have a phone at the time, so he said, I posted a status saying "If anyone knows how to get in contact with him tell him to contact me immediately" and tagged him in it, within 5 minutes he was calling. Damn how FB can work fast like that. He kept me fooled for about another week. I really cared about him and just couldn't believe that someone could do something like this. I wouldn't do it to anyone so I never expected to have it done to me. Well after enough of his bullshit and not being able to find this store he so claimed his friend was working on it, I filed charges. Within an hour the police had his name linked to that guitar at a local pawn shop. I felt so stupid, why did I wait so long? My gut was saying to not trust him. The first time I thought something bad I was on my way to my best friends house because I was having a hard time with it. During that drive Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova" came on the radio, which was also the first time I had ever heard it. I felt like it was a sign, I should get away from him, I felt it in my gut. However, my heart had different plans and wanted to believe him and see the good in him.

I'm here to tell you folks, not all people have good in them. I still look for it but I've finally gotten to a cut-off point. I had to pay 500 to get the guitar back, he was still on the run, all I could do was wait. Well, he got arrested end of November, they had finally found him. On the advice of some friends I called the District Attorney (is that the same thing as a Prosecuting Attorney?) and told her who I was and how I was linked to his charges. I had expected them to contact me since I filed the charges but they didn't. He has his hearing tomorrow morning over stealing the guitar. He has no idea that I am even aware of this, muchless that I'll be there. I haven't seen him since April, the day he left, and his last words that day were "You act like you're never going to see me again." My gut was telling me he was right but all I could do was look down. I still wanted to believe.

I am scared to face him in the morning and not because I'm scared of him, I'm scared of feelings coming up, emotions, and just thinking about it while writing this is tugging at my heart. I don't want to cry and let him see me weak like that but I can't guarantee I won't. I cried talking to the attorney about it, I'm sure I'll be a hot mess there but I'm going to try to hold it together. Unfortunately, I have no one to go with me. I have to put on my big girl panties and do this by myself. I hope I get some sleep tonight or I'll be even more of a mess. I pray justice is served and this chapter will be done and over with. It was a hard, expensive, lesson learned.

The moral of this story is, you gotta listen to your gut, your intuition. God gave us intuition for a reason, my brain knew that but my heart wouldn't listen. Now, I just hope I can hold it together tomorrow and be strong. I can come home and break down afterwards. Yeah, so, I'll probably be a frazzled hot mess tomorrow lucky to keep my head attached. So keep your fingers crossed, say a prayer (if that's your thing), or just send good vibes/thoughts. I'll keep you posted!